A few days ago, in my morning Bible reading time, I read a story that I have either read or heard probably a hundred times in my life. However, this time a particular verse in the story stood out to me in piercing way.
The story is that of Jesus and the disciples on a boat when suddenly a storm rages against them! The disciples are dismayed that Jesus is sleeping during the storm and they wake Him, crying out, “Do You not care that we are about to die?” Jesus got up and immediately hushed the storm as it bowed down to His command.
The verse that contains what Jesus said next to them struck me in a new and powerful way:
“Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith and confidence [in Me]?”
It hit me that when I give into fear, dread, or a feeling of being overwhelmed, I must be putting my confidence in the wrong place. When I put my faith and confidence in Jesus, feelings of fear flee.
When I am trying to figure everything out on my own and am overwhelmed, that is a big sign to myself that I am not placing my confidence in Jesus who is ruler over all, but instead am relying on trying to figure out how I am going to do whatever it is in that moment.
I read this verse in the middle of such a busy season. So much going on with our kids, so much going on with my business, and so much to take care of with my home. I have felt stretched more than I could handle. As all the feelings of: “It’s too much, I don’t know how I can do it all” came up, I stopped myself, sat down and said: God, I put my trust and confidence in You. I know You will give me all that I have need of. Whether it’s multiplying my time back to me, whether it’s giving me strength and supernatural wisdom, or whether it’s bringing in the right person to help me. My confidence is in You and I know You will take care of me.”
Fast forward to an hour later when I opened a bill that was normally under $100 a month. I opened the bill and this past month the total was almost $600! I knew it was due to some issues my house was having, so I called to see if I could do a payment plan for a few months to pay off this month’s bill. The lady on the other end of the line said, “Oh, sweetie, I hate to tell you what your next month’s bill is going to be…”
I asked her what it was and she answered slowly, “Over $3,000…” I was in shock and utterly aghast! This was definitely not in the budget! I asked her if they could please make an exception for a rare case where it was no fault of my own but as a cause of issues my house was having. She said: “Well, every now and then we do a one time discount for special circumstances.”
I said, “Yes! That sounds great!” She continued on, “We sometimes discount 10% off the total.” My heart sunk. That still left the total over $3,000! I began silently praying. We accidently got disconnected and when I called back a little while later, she said to give her a few days to look into it.
I remembered the verse God highlighted for my spirit just that morning. I said to myself: I am not going to give into fear. I believe that God will take care of this for us. God, I pray that You give us favor and that they show us mercy and favor and they don’t even know why they are!”
Every time I thought of the bill, I reminded my heart to put my trust and confidence in the Lord! He would take care of this for us in one way or another.
Two days later the lady called me back. She said that our house was due for an updated part and because of that they could put a work order in for that part and adjust the amount due wrapped up with that order. The total due now would be $3,000 less than she originally stated!!!
I was shaking so much as she told me, and I was trying to fight back the tears. However, she kept me on the line a little while longer and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I started crying and just saying thank you so much to her. All I could think of is how faithful God is and how He does care for us in our situation. He does supernaturally provide, and we can trust Him with every care and concern we have.
Where is my confidence? Is it in my ability? In my provision? In my strength and wisdom? Or is it in Jesus? When fear, dread, and feeling overwhelmed creep up on me, I actively put my trust and confidence in my Father God who is faithful to provide all that I have need of for each new day. My confidence is in Him!
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