We laid Bryant’s body to rest one year ago today, and this photo was taken the day after the funeral. My little 7 year old daughter, along with her brothers and sisters, had just unfathomably had to say a final good-bye to their Daddy. This season was marked with such pain, that I hate to admit it, but at times I wondered if we would ever be okay again.
This picture says a thousand words. Our baby who was enduring such heartache that she couldn’t bear the pain, was sitting at the table coloring with new art sets supplied by the kindness of others and surrounded by flowers given from some people I saw weekly and by some I hadn’t seen in years. A beautiful picture of sadness surrounded by compassion. The flowers to me represent so many different forms of care and love that have surrounded us and carried us through when we needed it the most.
The day of the funeral my kids and I went straight to the grave site after the service, so I really did not see most of the people that were there. However, a few weeks later, I received a book from the funeral home. They had made it from combining the memorial service sign-in books. I brought it home and later delicately opened its pages. I could not get through the first page without being moved to tears. I had to shut the book because I was a wreck seeing each name of those who cared enough to come and honor Bryant’s life as well as show love to our family. A few weeks later I made it through a few more pages and then had to stop again because I would just weep seeing each name.
I have now made it through the book and will still open it to read each name again, always through tears. The time right after he passed was such a painful blur that I couldn’t even completely process it all, but now seeing clearly the only thing that has made me cry as much as the loss has been the kindness of others. Not just the funeral, but before, during, after, and still to this day. I have never been able to thank each person adequately and sometimes I was in such pain that I couldn’t thank them at all, but I see their faces in my mind and heart regularly and they bring me a tearful smile, they bring me comfort, their love and care ease the hurt.
I know Bryant would be blown away and so grateful for everyone who has “had his back” with his family and how God has shown up through others in often the most unexpected ways. One year later, we are grateful and will continue to cherish the compassion that has surrounded and strengthened our family.
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